I'm just gonna dump the contents of my brain right here and go into it more later...
codependency or commitment
reaching for support vs cutting off all support
turning to God or blaming God
leap of faith into hard marriage work or leap of faith into divorce and personal work
get a degree that would produce the best financial results or get a degree that I can use to make a difference in the world
kick him out or further separate at home
be vulnerable with him or block him out
apologize for something I didn't do to smooth family relations over or stand up for me and not hate myself at the end of the day
Hello, we don't know each other, but I accidentally stumbled across your blog here. As someone who has lived through what you are experiencing, I know how hard this can be. My heart aches reading about the horrible events that have taken place in your life. I hate to break it to you, but somebody really needs to tell you this:
ReplyDeleteThe man you are married to will never change. If all that you have written here in this blog about your Mr. Wonderful is true, please know right now and forever more, he is not ever going to change. His "addiction" is here to stay. It is likely he masturbates far more than anything he has told you. Probably at least daily. Porn can be accessed in soooo many different ways, and by your descriptions, it is likely your hubby uses it constantly still, regardless of what he tells you. I seriously doubt his affairs are only emotional. It is clear he constantly fantasizes about other women. But even further, if he is truly how you've described him, then you can almost be certain that physical affairs have occurred, or are still occurring.
You've mentioned in this blog that your husband has behaved this way now for years; this is who your husband is, and this is who he will continue being. HE WILL NOT CHANGE. That man is going to keep masturbating, using porn, and actually being with other women, whether you continue your marriage or not. And he will lie lie lie to you about it as long as you stay married. Heck, he will probably lie lie lie through meetings with the bishop and stake president, which will make it possible for him to hold callings, carry a temple recommend in his wallet, and be a worthy priesthood holder in the eyes of the church, or even worse, in the eyes of your child. All the while, you will know who he really is. Just be prepared for that if you decide against divorce.