I'm such a lovefool....

my favorite version of this popular song you can listen to here.

I have had it on repeat... I am such a lovefool. This whole time I was so worried about being alone, about losing him I didn't really care if he cared.... I just needed him to tell me he loved me.  Even though his actions were those of a man who didn't love his wife... I begged him to love me. I wanted him to keep fooling me... just tell me he loved me... because I needed him.   

Looking back... I feel like a complete idiot.  I bent over backwards for him. I sacrificed so much for him...now all I am left with is how could I have been so blind? I knew there was more to the story,  I knew that his heart wasn't mine, I knew I didn't like the way he talked about his coworkers and other women, I saw his wandering eyes soak in women all around him...why did I put up with his behavior? why didn't demand safety in my marriage? why didn't I stand up for myself??? 

I think that is the greater tragedy in this romance gone wrong... I let myself down.  I didn't stand up for me.  I just took it all and kept begging him to love me... 

Lovefool-

Dear, I fear we're facing a problem
You love me no longer, I know
And maybe there is nothing
That I can do to make you do
Mama tells me I shouldn't bother
That I ought to stick to another man
A man that surely deserves me
But I think you do!


So I cry, I pray and I beg


Love me love me
Say that you love me
Fool me fool me
Go on and fool me
Love me love me
Pretend that you love me
Leave me leave me
Just say that you need me
Love me love me
Say that you love me
Leave me leave me
Just say that you need me
I can't care 'bout anything but you...


Lately I have desperately pondered,
Spent my nights awake and I wonder
What I could have done in another way
To make you stay
Reason will not lead to solution
I will end up lost in confusion
I don't care if you really care
As long as you don't go


So I cry, I pray, and I beg


Love me, love me
Say that you love me
Fool me, fool me
Go on and fool me
Love me, love me
Pretend that you love me
Leave me, leave me
Just say that you need me
So I cry, and I pray for you to
Love me, love me
Say that you love me
Leave me, leave me
Just say that you need me
I can't care 'bout anything but you...


Anything but you...


Love me, love me (Say that you love me)
Fool me, fool me (Go on and fool me)
Love me, love me (I know that you need me)
I can't care 'bout anything but you..